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1.
Roswell, NM 02:33
It left me feeling anxious. I was overly concerned that everything would turn out just like everything I’d ever loved. Now I’m feeling stagnant and I just want to stay here in this apartment on this floor where I lay. And every time I come back, I walk every single street. But I just want to stay, I just want to lay, I want to stay. So to keep the movement down, I’ll take the top floor of this house. And all the words we said meant nothing. Face down on the hardwood, I’m worth less than a single one. I’ve got my eyes focused on the wall and you’re miserable again. Just keep me breathing, I’m so tired here in this old house vacant of the things we loved the most. Just keep me breathing. I can’t take the rain anymore. I’ve stayed away from everything. I’ve stayed away, I’ve stayed awake.
2.
I did this to myself. I built this bridge from matches to burn it all down. I’m talking too much to myself. I stare at the walls to keep myself from drifting. I can’t control these empty hands or the shake they create. Where my heart remains, the words all seem faked. I said I’m tired. And it’s hard to know what the twilight does to a semi-faked sense of pride. Left standing on my feet, I can barely afford the time. And I can’t help myself, I’m stagnant so I run away. Another night spent on the couch with nowhere to stay. And I would save you but I can barely save myself. So we fall asleep exhausted dreading every single day.
3.
The feeling’s never new. Disposed, forgotten, removed, lost in this shipwrecked crew. Strip my skin, give me my prison blues. This house is not my home cluttered with the same memories from before. But the wood beneath my feet brings no comfort. Give me my number, take my face. Hand me my regrets, I’m feeling out of place. All we asked for was some sort of constant. Looking back, I just see uselessness. Everything that should have made me stay is everything that just made me feel restless.
4.
You threw the first punch like a stone through the window of the house that your mother built in the fall of ‘91. She was silent. And I never said a single word, she could die here or alone. This tension that runs straight through our bones and nobody knows just how bad this hurts. All the apathy we inhale in our lungs, we try to get by but we’re coming undone. It’s hard to breathe when you’re coughing up smoke. But it’s too hard to leave when the dream never broke. So replace me, it’s what we both want. I’ll be the picture on your wall crumbling to dust. So I ran for miles to every length of this city. Every street light tried to stopped me, but I just kept running. And I can’t contain the urge to get myself away. Everytime I should feel comfort, I feel stagnant at best.
5.
Freemasons 01:49
You’re out late starting fist fights against highway lines tonight, and I’m here waging wars against myself. If there’s one thing that I’m sure of, it’s we’re not proud of anything. And there’s nothing we could ever do to help. I’ll fool myself by thinking that this song could remedy this disillusioned feeling that we’re lost. But empty picture frames and these cold flannel sheets remind me there’s no reason behind this melody. So wait, just wait, wait for this whole world to thaw. Despite everything I said, I’ve still got reason to believe that this year might be better than the last. It’s been a long December and I can barely shake this cold. So we’ll sit here in this parking lot and watch the cars fly past.

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Written, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Secret Plot to Destroy the Entire Universe in the months of November and December 2011. Listen with headphones.

Please listen for the Counting Crows reference.

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released December 22, 2011

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Secret Plot to Destroy the Entire Universe Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

RIP 2014

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